Its early morning 9:00 AM and my phone started ringing. No its not an alarm tone but something similar, its a call from home. By opening 0.7% of my eyes I managed to lift the call.

Mom: How are you ?

I do not know about the fastest time recorded on earth for the blood pressure to rise to its peak but I can bet that given such a situation, I would definitely be a finalist. I woke up, stood up and then dropped the call. I hate "How are you ?" a lot. Mom forgot the topper of my hate list and was trying to say sorry but by then the call dropped. She messaged me and I called back, this time the call went with out any hiccups.

I wonder why millions of people daily use "Hi How are you ?" and in return get "I'm fine.../I'm doing good' sort of expected replies. Being a software programmer my hatred towards redundancy developed a lot these days. On seeing World Brinjal/Tomato...Days being celebrated, I realized that it is high time that I did something to remove 'Hi, How are you ?' from the World.

As a first step, I wanted to check if there was atleast one soul on the Earth who thinks the same way. I recalled that one month ago I created an Orkut Community with the name - 'I hate - 'Hi How are you''. I didn't check the group after that, as Twitter became a raze. I anxiously opened the Orkut Community and was surprised to see that 256 Members joined it even though it didn't have any profile description or content in the forum. I realized that there are quite a few people who hate it just by name and just like me. On getting inspired by this, from then onwards I started thinking seriously of treating any one seriously who talks to me with these BAD words.

But, it was haunting me like a shutdown virus as many different people used to mouth it. During that time, I felt it to be more dangerous than Swine Flu. I posted my anguish on eccentric Gopal Ram Dharma's blog (grdzoomout.com) and got a very good reaction for my like minded reaction.

At office, I started walking by looking at ground so that no one could wish me and get troubled. In no time a long weekend arrived and I was back home. On seeing me, Mom, Sis n bro came running towards the door and all were trying to utter the same old disturbing words and I was about to run away. They realized it and with a great discomfort controlled themselves. I felt relieved but I heard 'Hi How are you' from a tender voice and it was from none other than my nephew of three and half years old. Everyone had a hearty laugh. I was shocked and it sounded to me like he used F word on me. I decided to eat the 'Temptations' chocolate in my bag myself.

I gave a serious warning to all the family members and black mailed them that I would go on hunger strike if such acts get repeated. With this after a few days I rescued my family out of 'Hi How are you ' trap. We had to host a small party and all the guests were surprised on not getting this routine wish or routine reply to their wish. It was indeed one of its kind party and every one had a strange experience. Interestingly some of them found it to be very funny and also seemed to have absorbed this new style.

I felt that I invented 'Violet Revolution', yes I named it Violet because it can be said as 'Why Let' (Why let others say 'Hi How are you' Revolution). I was impressed with my own justification. I was in high spirits and was jumping with joy on seeing success infront of my eyes. I almost felt like I was the first person to have landed on the moon but realized that I was indeed landing on a spoon of a Uncle which jumped out of his mouth with my aerobics. I said sorry and he adjusted and was about to say 'How are you'. I sensed it and dropped his another spoon and ran away. Anyways, I was very happy that I was taking active part in bringing change in passive lives of people in the society.

All was well for me until one fine weekend when I went home. There was a stunning beauty at my home. All my family members wished me in such a way that, for her it looked like she was watching Doordarshan's News for hearing impaired in a Big TV Show room. I didn't concentrate on them and my focus was on her, I realized that she is Nandita, my childhood buddy and was too hot to handle. I had no words to say I just ran towards her and said 'Hi...How are you ' and after that I didn't know what happened and I was lying on bed. I had a bad dream of 10 to 15 goons hitting me hard on my back and I was trying hard to resist them and turn back and identify them. I somehow managed to stop them and find who they are and to my utter dismay they are none other than my own family members !!! and the irony is, its not a dream !!!

All were hitting me hard and were shouting 'Hi How are you ' !!!!!

This post has been moved to the following location:

http://www.whatareview.com/farewell-party-idea/

Open Letter to Open Minds

After 'Roti, Kapada, Makaan' the only thing that matters to us is 'Movie'. It has become part and participle of our lives. Where ever there is craze, money network follows. 'People' is the primary resource for any business. Money can't be generated, it can only be voluntarily collected from people by playing on their needs/weaknesses. Movies are no exception. This article is to discuss the current problems of people in watching movies and to suggest an interesting solution.

Problems:

- Time: A Movie squeezes many hours from a movie buff. Right from script discussions to the silver jubilee celebrations, a movie haunts you with press meets, TV Programs, chat with friends, magazines…what not ? The crux of this phenomenon lies in watching a movie.

An average movie goer is forced to waste lot of his time. Starting from his residence it takes at least 3 hours for him to get into the theatre. Probably on some occasions one would feel that, making a movie is much easier than making it to a movie. An hour in traffic, one more in the queue and an idle hour before the show fetches nothing for him except a ticket. After watching the movie he is once again forced to get into the euphoria of achieving something. He gets relieved/re-lived only when he blabbers all his feelings to as many people as he can.

These all sum up into the wastage of hell lot of time.

- Expenses: A Cooldrink which costs 50 NP for the company is usually sold at Rs 10 to 15. In movie theatres it is Rs 17 to 20. Even if your wise enough to ignore them, you are are (d)ragged into it if someone accompanies you. If a family of 5 members wishes to watch a movie, the auto expenses, tickets, snacks all sum up at least to 500 bucks.

- Seating: In many towns still there is no numbering system on the tickets. It would be a nice catch for any News Channel to capture the way some fanatics rush into the theatres and lie on 4 to 5 seats with his hands and legs stretched disclaiming that the entire row is his adda. Here Darwin's theory comes into picture. Its quite common that seating results in sweating for all the soft mortals.

- Small Budget films are getting severely affected by the big ones. They are not finding theatres to release their films.

- Losing Lives: On top of all these problems, the increasing mad rush for movies is the most dangerous one. The more the hype, the more disordered people become. There have been numerous incidents where people died for watching a movie. To quote an example:

A couple of years ago, on the release day of a star hero's movie, many fans were in the queue right from early morning at a theatre in Hyderabad. The frustration was mounting in them. After some long long hours in the queue, ticket counter started functioning. To the bitter shock of a guy the counter was closed at his chance. He was so much frustrated that he grabbed the ticket from the person in front of him and this went to the extent of killing the stranger who owned the ticket.

Life has a meaning and it can't be such a demeaning act to give/take it for a MOVIE.

An Interesting Solution:

How about releasing a movie directly through TV Channels ? These days film makers are able to get 1 to 2 Crores for Satellite Rights. As per this deal only after 50 days or when the movie is out of theatres the channel would be able to telecast it. Even then they are able to get good return on investment. Here Ad revenue is crucial.

If a movie which is already seen by lakhs of audience, is making crores of profit, what is the case of a direct release ? There'll be huge audience and so the Companies that advertise will also benefit. The Ad Slots would be in great demand. If the ad slots are also limited then there'ill be terrific rate for a slot. The channel should telecast 7 to 8 shows per day in a dedicated channel and all the people can watch it in a day or two. Now a days, TVs are the most common things that have reached even remote areas. Channels can also generate some income by enhancing the charges for the cable connection to some extent.

Most importantly, this can save lives.

Pros:

- Traveling: All the people can watch movies in their homes at their convenience. It avoids lot of traffic.

- Reviews: Need not wait for reviews. We can have a direct first show for ourselves.

- Piracy: There would be nothing spicy left for the pirates.

- Wide Reach: Usually if 5 Lakh people watch a particular movie then there are chances that 10 Lakh watch it this way.

- Savings: It saves lot of money for lakhs of people.

Cons:

- User experience: For some people, they can't enjoy a movie unless they see it on at least 35 MM screen with DTS effect.

Explanation: If all the makers opt TV Channels then surely some Theatres would be closed. Anyways some theatres can still run and have decent number of audience who love watching it only in theatres. This way it actually benefits them in other sense.

- Unemployment: Theatres provide livelihood for some thousands of people. It has indirect means of earnings to near by shops, auto wallahs…

Exp: When compared to lakhs of viewers their number is less and they should opt for other means of livelihood.

- Quality of Movies: Film makers might churn out low quality films.

Exp: Ignore them.

- Time in watching a movie: A Movie runs for about 2 and half hours in a theatre. When Ads are served on a TV for a crazy movie it would take at least 4 hrs to finish it. This in turn wastes lot of time.

Exp: Agreed, but you would have the flexibility of doing some other works too in the break time. But in theatre you can only, watch a movie.

- Video CD Market: As a movie would be regularly aired on TV, the VCDs market drops to a rock bottom.

Exp: However some people who do not have the patience to spare 4 hrs for a 2 hrs movie can own a VCD. Though the market drops there would be some market space still existing.

- Loss to Mobile Companies: It can be observed that after casual talk over phones most of the conversations run over a latest release.

Exp: It should be viewed as a gain to customers.

- Ad revenue would be a problem if there are multiple films releasing on same day.

Exp: There are multiple channels.

- This will badly affect big budget movies. Production values will be sloppy.

ExP: Agreed. It works well for limited budget movies.

- This might seriously affect other TV Programs.

Exp: Who cares ? If KBC made all roads empty and other channels mum all that you can do is to just follow it…

Conclusion:

This thought might not be admissible by many film makers. There are many rigid rules of Film Chamber. It is very difficult to see such things materialize. However there's nothing wrong in exploring other angles in any business. If T20 could bring in a big change in Cricket, Why not such things in all sectors ?

Lets hope that 'Customer is God' phrase gets realized in Film Industry too.

This post has been moved to the following location:

http://www.whatareview.com/the-pursuit-of-happyness-movie-review/